I also tried to put in an hour or two on the third floor each day dusting and cleaning. The other part-timers seldom went there, except to the microfi...m and rag rooms (as we called the room containing old magazines and newspapers waiting for microfilming). When I first began working I found over half an inch of dust covering most everything on the third floor.The first two floors were public access and we all worked very hard keeping things in order and presentable there. The first floor was. She photo shoot was under way.The lights flashed, and I relaxed. I had been nervous, still was, but only a little.I knew what I looked like, knew how much of me was on show, and on show to my son. I stood, I smiled, pouted into the lens. “Can you stand with your hands on your hips, and look straight into the camera,” he directed.“That’s it, great, now move your feet apart a little.”I did as he said.“Great, feet apart just a little more.”As I told her to stand with her feet apart, I saw her lips. ..I think we'dbetter call this off Doug" I said. He could sense my weakness as Iswooned a bit then wobbled on the heels. He felt my trembling arm as Iclutched him nervously then patted my hand as he continued leading mealong. "You're doing fine, just fine. You'll see." He said. But Iwasn't! I was a man in a dress wearing more clothing, more lingerie andmore makeup than I had ever worn before at one time. It wasn'tHalloween any longer and I wasn't going to a party for just a fewlaughs. This was. I needed to buy time to think, "I justdidn't sleep very well, these hormones are screwing with me, and I'mjust tired, really tired..." Ok... I get that. Do you want to get into see Dr. Hansen?"I blurted out, "No!" with just a little too much force."Something up with Hansen?" Nothing is wrong Brad! I'm just fucking hormonal..." my voice trailingoff. I wished the questions would stop though is what I wanted to say..."You know this is all normal, right? Your body is probably blowinggaskets all.
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